Living Breathless

So last May I was going along with life. Working part time as a registered nurse and taking care of my family. This family consists of my three year old daughter, two at the time, and my wonderful husband. Life then was breathless, because God had given me so much. I had overcome my Lupus symptoms enough to be able to be a momma, what I always dreamed. Then I realized I couldn't breathe when I did certain simple activities, like walking into work. So off to the doctor I went. The following week was a whirlwind and left me just as breathless as life itself. I was diagnosed with pulmonary hypertension on Friday of that week. Life as I had known it would never be the same.

Even with all the changes that my family and I have had to make, I can still honestly say that I have a wonderful life. I have life. I have the breath I need to keep living and to watch my baby girl grow up. I may not be here for as long as I would like, but I get to live my dream of being a momma. I can no longer work as an RN in the same unit that I was working in. I never thought that I was meant to be a stay at home mom, but I am learning with everything else that this is a blessing in itself.

Being breathless has allowed me to really see things for their beauty. I love to plant flowers, sometimes it’s really hard for me, but to see them bloom in the sunshine and to be able to enjoy this is one thing that I have learned not to take for granted. I can't rake leaves, or mow grass, but I can feed the birds and watch the squirrels. I am trying to teach my daughter to enjoy the small things like this. It is so much fun to watch her giggle at the squirrels when they chase one another in the yard.

I am thankful that I have been diagnosed in the generation where science and medicine have come so far. Twenty years ago I may not have had a very good prognosis. With all the research and medications available I will be able to live longer, even breathless.

With God's Love JennRn