Part 2 by Eye Shaa Malik
My story continues...
I normally visit my doc once in two weeks for regular checkup but
my last worst hospitalization was on 6 April 2014. It left a mark on my mind
and it brings tears in my eyes when I recall that day. I've got severe heart
arrest at 3 am I was at hostel nobody was there to take me to hospital I was
extremely breathless with hell pain in my heart. I was brought to heart center
at 8 am next morning (that added to the severity of stretch of heart hole's
muscles with insufficient O2 supply) by my roomie, I am thankful to God and
then to her for saving my life. I was swooned afterwards and undergoing various
treatments like O2, nebulization and injections repeatedly...
I don't know what happened then & when I revived my senses I
found myself half-dead still ongoing spate of treatments. My family arrived
near 4 pm I evoked my will-power and didn't heed to anyone , my doc said you
are not in condition to go ,I insisted but I got breathless again and was
brought to another hospital the same evening .... It was a severe jerk that I
wasn't able to get up for approx. a 'month' but thanks to some good
medical attention & I took my rehab seriously, brought myself to the level
of fitness... It was spring and undoubtedly in these 12 years this
"Crop-cutting" season aggravates my symptoms. During this turmoil
I've written a poem "My scattered breath" that justify how my
condition fully cox when you can't breathe nothing else matters!
“My Scattered Breath"
Night prevails to bring
some rest...
Even the birds flew to
their nest...
To sleep soundly is my quest...
But being valetudinarian I am
arrest...
Spring's brutal to me ever,
yet!
Can't blame the crops that
harvest...
Once again I'll have to pass
it like a test...
Cox having
"PH" is not a jest...
Lots of fears, if
it’s last spring lest!
Dear lord! Waiting
for you to manifest...
The eternal
heal that reveal the zest!
My focus is to keep myself psychologically healthy. My parents
have always told me that you are "RARE" not "SPECIAL" so my
"expectation level" for care and affection from others is very low
.......I cordially thanks my caregivers and try to return something to them (that
can be a smile :)). I think when we are ill we can waste too much energy being
mad or being glad about how people are caring for us, when we should be really
there caring for others, our illness doesn't exempt from reaching out in fact, I
think we are more accountable because we can understand journey better than
those who have not yet taken it. I feel like now that I have PH I am aware of
every my single breath to thank. Never in my entire life anyone
sympathized me because I never painted a sorry picture of mine and I feel that’s
my success . Everyone and I mean each and everyone says this " You don't
look like a patient " until unless I tell them that there is something
wrong inside , my nails and lips give them a ill bit of clue rarely but I often
hide it with some lip and nail colors..
One thing for newly diagnosed patients with PH or any other
chronic disease... Look! You are a higher, plight till last breathe, yes you
are bearing up, but who isn't? In one way or other everyone is the part of any struggle.
Never ever give up & keep marching forward. Everyone has to go one day,
take your medication & rehab-process seriously, smile for your love ones
and get out of dismal outlook and prove the world that you are a "WARRIOR”.
Once you adopt things turn easy for you, HAVE A COMPLETE FAITH IN GOD. Keep your
mind spiritually positive & patiently wait HE is the best healer, you all
definitely be rewarded for this pain. He is aware of your struggle and the
midnight sky and the silent stars have been witness of your devotion to freedom
and of your heroism.
